Seeing Your Child Before Anything Else
As an author and advocate focused on parenting children with autism, one of my key understandings is how vital communication is, and that speech is just one form of it. For parents of low-verbal or nonverbal autistic children, I champion a suite of strategies that enable expression beyond words, as explored in my book “Ausome Parenting.”
A crucial aspect of this approach is adopting an identity-first perspective. It’s about recognizing that autism is an integral part of who someone is, rather than defining them solely by their diagnosis. This approach acknowledges the child first and foremost as a unique individual. The phrase ‘my nonverbal child,’ as opposed to ‘my child with autism,’ places the person, with their distinctive personality and potential, at the forefront.
Identity-first language is centering the individual and their humanity before anything else. It reiterates that children are so much more than a label or diagnostic acronym. For parents struggling to come to terms with a diagnosis involving lack of speech, this paradigm shift can provide comfort and continuity – their child’s spirit has not fundamentally changed.
The Superpowers of Neurodiversity
By sharing stories of nonverbal individuals who’ve achieved great things in diverse fields, parents can expand their vision of what’s possible for their child beyond spoken language. This shifts the focus from what’s perceived to be missing – speech – to what’s present and strong. Equipped with role models and real-world examples, families gain realistic optimism.
This identity-first perspective is closely tied to the concept of neurodiversity – understanding neurological differences as natural variations rather than deficits. Looking through the lens of neurodiversity reveals that the myriad ways humans communicate are part of the rich tapestry of diversity, not flaws to be corrected.
It helps dispel limiting beliefs that the absence of speech equates to an absence of intelligence or capacity for achievement. We need to reshape the societal narrative that verbal communication is the only indicator of competence. Your child’s worth is never diminished by speaking differently.
In fact, being nonverbal or low-verbal often gives rise to cognitive strengths and talents that may go unnoticed in highly verbal individuals. Enhanced visual-spatial skills, remarkable memory, advanced pattern recognition, and intense focus are indeed areas where nonverbal individuals may excel.
Communication Goes Beyond Words
When not focused on verbal output, neurodivergent minds can zero in on mastering other abilities, from the technical to the artistic. We all have a combination of strengths and weaknesses. Yet in those who diverge from spoken language, a laser-focus on non-verbal skills often emerges organically.
Added to this is the benefit of experiencing the world through a sensory lens that may be far richer and more attuned than the average person’s. Without the expectation to constantly translate thoughts into words, nonverbal individuals report having highly detailed internal worlds – nuanced, vivid, and multilayered.
They indicate having a profound connection to visual, auditory and kinetic sensory input most overlook. In many ways, their grasp of nonverbal information is exponentially greater, though society fails to recognize this cognitive diversity.
By framing speech as just one among countless avenues for expression, we open the door to a world of alternative communication methods. Parents can take comfort knowing their child’s internal experience, intelligence, emotions, needs and desires can be shared and appreciated in myriad ways.
This may include picture exchange systems, American Sign Language, or advanced augmentative/alternative communication (AAC) technology – options are vast and expanding in the digital age. It is about finding the right fit tailored to the child’s strengths and interests. Consistent learning in natural, engaging settings is key.
From Potential Limits to Endless Possibility
With compassionate guidance, children can gain tools to initiate communication, make requests, forge friendships, participate in class, and achieve their goals without relying on speech. When families embrace the journey with flexibility and creativity, incredible breakthroughs in expression can unfold.
Progress requires dedication but outcomes often surpass expectations. There are countless stories of joyful moments when nonverbal children first convey humor, desires, or personality in their own way – through images, signing, typing, or devices. Unlocking these communication superpowers is life-changing.
This identity-first, neurodiversity-based approach offers parents a refreshing and uplifting perspective that emphasizes strengths. It empowers families to become staunch advocates for accommodations that allow their child to flourish.
Seeing diversity as a benefit versus a hindrance can inspire a sense of boundless possibility. Focusing on natural capacities fosters opportunities and a higher quality of life.
Have you noticed unique skills or sensory preferences emerging in your child as communication develops in nonverbal ways? I encourage you to share your experiences and insights. By celebrating their achievements and remaining open to new possibilities, you further inclusion and acceptance for those communicating in diverse ways.
While the journey may look different than envisioned, maintaining this flexible, identity-first mindset allows you to appreciate your child’s distinctive communication style with awe and pride. Progress unfolds one joyful breakthrough at a time.